786/110: The Nature of God & Why We Struggle (caution: the language may offend some readers)

You are a whore to men

women and children too;

Been a lover to beast and man.

Longing to belong we slept with You

in hopes and dreams of today and tomorrow.

In my childhood I gazed upon you with innocent eyes

and a child like heart wishing for things that children do

making me believe I belonged to You and You alone and You were mine.

Now I approach death and realize:

You are a whore from eternity to eternity,

a lover to both young and old,

beast and men: making them believe what they wanted to believe-

filling the void of Longing to Belong.

I approach death knowing that you will have a different lover at your bedside.

But I am not alone in this: many others have passed before me and many more will follow.

The fault is mine: I presumed You to be mine,

an Eternal companion:

Instead You are a whore to every One.

Yet I believe in you still and thank you for this gift which You enjoyed with Me

while I slept with You Longing to Belong.

It is unfair that the faithful companion should die while the whore remains!

Yet You were honest in Your Treachery as I was naive in my love:

You had said it all along: “Everyone will perish except the face of God.”

An Apology & God’s Reply:

I am sorry for My Anger, My Friend:

I climbed from earth towards heaven gazing at Your Face

and I tumbled and fell to the pith below both Heaven & Earth

where darkness and despair prevails.

I cannot fathom why, my Lord, I hear your voice where darkness is intense

and yet you do not hold my hand and lift me out the pith of darkness and despair?

God’s reply:

I am caterpillar who wants to be a butterfly:

You are the metamorphosis.

I created You in My Image:

We lift each other out of darkness into Light.

Your joys and pains are mine:

Yet You are Not Me and I am Not You:

I am the First & the Last,

The Living God who, one day,

You will meet with a content soul on the day

when the Object will exist without a shadow:

I, without an Image.

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The Caterpillar and the Butterfly

God is a Caterpillar who wants to become a Butterfly:

We are the Metamorphosis.

We create the Butterfly: Our Destiny.

This is the meaning of the paradox:

God is the First and the Last;

The Manifest & Hidden.

Moiz Billah

Veiled Beauty

I see You in the redness of dawn;

in the virgin sky;

in awakened life at early morn;

in Thunder & Lightening;

in the silence of the Dark Night;

between my shadow and I;

in the glorious moon and the bright stars;

in sounds of raindrops:

In the carelessness of children while they play in

Your Thunder, Lightening and Rain;

in waves on an ocean shore;

in the moving wind;

in hope amidst fear;

in the lust of youth.

My Allah, O Veiled Beauty, yet I see you not in all Your Majesty:

I see the footprint but not the Foot;

the shadow but not the Object.

I am a shadow of the Object. The Sun will set upon me and my shadow will fade into the Dark Night. All that will remain is You. I will return like a raindrop on the ocean back to its Source.

All will perish except Your Face.

My Allah, let me know You as a Friend and let me subsist Within You for an Eternity.

Let the shadow exist without a shadow: in oneness with You