Pristine Whore

You are a whore to men

women and children too;

Been a lover to beast and man.

Longing to belong we slept with You

in hopes and dreams of today and tomorrow.

In my childhood I gazed upon you with innocent eyes

and a child like heart wishing for things that children do

making me believe I belonged to You and You alone and You were mine.

Now I approach death and realize:

You are a whore from eternity to eternity,

a lover to both young and old,

beast and men: making them believe what they wanted to believe-

filling the void of Longing to Belong.

I approach death knowing that you will have a different lover at your bedside.

But I am not alone in this: many others have passed before me and many more will follow.

The fault is mine: I presumed You to be mine,

an Eternal companion:

Instead You are a whore to every One.

Yet I believe in you still and thank you for this gift which You enjoyed with Me

while I slept with You Longing to Belong.

It is unfair that the faithful companion should die while the whore remains!

Yet You were honest in Your Treachery as I was naive in my love:

You had said it all along: “Everyone will perish except the face of God.”

The illusion of time heals all wounds:

I am sorry for My Anger, My Friend:

I climbed from earth towards heaven gazing at Your Face

and I tumbled and fell to the pith below both Heaven & Earth

where darkness and despair prevails.

I cannot fathom why, my Lord, I hear your voice where darkness is intense

and yet you do not hold my hand and lift me out the pith of darkness and despair?

The Spirit Spoke:

I am caterpillar who wants to be a butterfly:

You are the metamorphosis.

I created You in My Image:

We lift each other out of darkness into Light.

Your joys and pains are mine:

Yet You are Not Me and I am Not You:

I am the First & the Last,

The Living God who, one day,

You will meet with a content soul on the day

when the Object will exist without a shadow:

I, without an Image.

Who is God, Who We Are, & The Problem of Evil

When I was 16, my philosophy teacher Mwalimu Kassala asked me to ponder on the problem of evil. He presented the problem as Saint Augustine had presented it:

Either God cannot abolish evil or He will not.

If He cannot, He is not All-Powerful;

If He will not, He is not All-Good.

Many years have passed since then, and I think I have finally “solved” the problem of evil- and it is an extremely important question to consider because my solution puts us in the role of creators rather than passive observers.It challenges the fundamental assumptions most human beings have made about God.

The problem with the question and the traditional understanding of God is the assumption that God IS rather than BECOMING and that He is All Powerful, All Merciful, or Both. Truth is often a paradox. My view on the problem of evil, on the nature of God, and who we are is suggested in the following poems:

 Caterpillar and the Butterfly

Pristine Whore

The Opening

Where is God?

The problem with the traditional understanding of God is that it makes us passive observers who assume that goodness will prevail because of a higher power. I suggest, respectfully, that the outcome should not be assumed: what we do, and how we live, will determine the fate of not only ourselves but “It”.  Individual and Social Justice are paramount to the “creation” of Us and “It.”

The Caterpillar and the Butterfly

God is a Caterpillar who wants to become a Butterfly:

We are the Metamorphosis.

We create the Butterfly: Our Destiny.

This is the meaning of the paradox:

God is the First and the Last;

The Manifest & Hidden.

Moiz Billah

My God has No Name

My God has no Name,

It resides within me yet not only in Me-

You and I are Nothing:

We: Everything.

“It” is an impartial judge between me and you-

Yet  partial to us all-

Though the Judgment be against me,

“It” accompanies me as a Friend to the Judgment:

My living, my breathing, in sin or virtue, is by and with It.

It is a living force: a Witness and Participant.

I see It everywhere without a place, time or movement:

I do not see It-I cannot imagine anything without a place, time or movement.

Yet it is not with my Imagination that I see:

I see with Seeing.

At the end of time, I will perish and We will all be One.

All this for What? :

So that the Caterpillar may become the Butterfly;

The First may become the Last.

The Manifest may become Hidden:

The Caterpillar, Butterfly and Metamorphosis all One:

God may Know Itself and we perish and live as Eternity.

Moiz Billah

Veiled Beauty

I see You in the redness of dawn;

in the virgin sky;

in awakened life at early morn;

in Thunder & Lightening;

in the silence of the Dark Night;

between my shadow and I;

in the glorious moon and the bright stars;

in sounds of raindrops:

In the carelessness of children while they play in

Your Thunder, Lightening and Rain;

in waves on an ocean shore;

in the moving wind;

in hope amidst fear;

in the lust of youth.

My Allah, O Veiled Beauty, yet I see you not in all Your Majesty:

I see the footprint but not the Foot;

the shadow but not the Object.

I am a shadow of the Object. The Sun will set upon me and my shadow will fade into the Dark Night. All that will remain is You. I will return like a raindrop on the ocean back to its Source.

All will perish except Your Face.

My Allah, let me know You as a Friend and let me subsist Within You for an Eternity.

Let the shadow exist without a shadow: in oneness with You